Maybe You're My Saving Grace
by lennysheartlocket
Summary: Jo Wilson is what you'd call damaged goods. She's been hurt, let down and abused enough times to know she's better off alone. Alex Karev is a juvenile delinquent and the definition of a lost cause. He brings with him a troubled past and a bad boy facade. When they meet, they don't realize the impact they'll have on each other. At least, not yet anyway. AU.
1. part one

_I've been working on this for a long time. It's basically an AU where Jolex meet each other as teens in the foster care system. I swear, all my ideas go back to this pairing these days. Other Grey's characters will be in this, but some of them won't act like their adult selves - I based everyone off what I think their teenage self might've been like. (So for example, yes there will be some black-wearing, pink-haired Meredith in later chapters.) Also, please note this is rated M, for language, possible sexual themes, and mentions of past abuse. _

_Alright, let's get this first disclaimer out of the way - I'm not Shonda. Grey's isn't mine. Please don't sue me. Thanks. _

* * *

**part one;**

She has been living with the Webber's for two years, five months, and twenty-six days.

Yes, she's been counting. It's not because she doesn't like the Webber's – sure they're always too busy to really notice her, but it's not like she cares, because she's been stuck with people a lot worse than Richard Webber and Miranda Bailey. Whenever she goes to a new foster home, which she's done multiple times, she keeps track of how long she's there. This is the longest she's been with one family for several years. There were the Stewart's, who lasted two years, one month, and fifteen days. There were the McGinty's, who followed at two years and four days, while the Young's were a year, eleven months, and eighteen days she'd rather forget. The Crawley's took the award from her shortest stay, because she was only there for a week. And those were just a few of the most recent ones. Most of the foster parents she had were just blurry faces in the back of her mind, a number the only thing she remembered them by.

There are twelve kids living in the house. She's stayed at foster homes who have had more, but this is still a fairly big number. They forget about Jo most of the time, because she didn't say much and usually stayed out of trouble. Life there is hectic, always loud, always noisy, something always going on.

She's never gotten close to any of them though, not really. She's learned from her time in the foster care system that it's easier to not get attached. In the end, everyone always leaves, nothing's ever permanent. Even her own mother didn't stick around. So, she told herself it was better this way. No fuss, no muss.

The closest person to Jo is probably her roommate, a girl named Lexie who is really pretty and a year or two older than her. Lexie seems nice enough, and she tries to be friendly, but they both know they're not going to be best friends or anything. Lexie's not the kind of person Jo would want to hang out with - she's always reading something, and she's a little too nice, you know. But what Jo really admires about Lexie is her photographic memory. That girl could recite the freaking periodic table. Jo had always secretly found it really cool. She was able to do almost any math mentally herself, but she'd never actually told anyone that. Two hundred and fifty-six times eight hundred and seventy-five? Two hundred and twenty-four thousand. One thousand two hundred and five plus one hundred eighty-seven? Thirteen ninety-two. Nine hundred eighty-two divided by six hundred fifty-one? One point five zero eight four four eight five four zero seven zero six six one. Approximately.

So she obviously she has no trouble calculating that she's been living in Richard Webber's house for two years, five months, and twenty-six days. Today, Lexie is lying on her bed, in a pair of jeans and a top with a hole under one armpit, talking to a perky redhead she doesn't remember the name of (Anna? Abby? Something with an A.) She walks into the room and sits down on the floor, while the other two girls converse.

She keeps all of her things on the floor in what all the kids call "the official luggage of the foster care system", also known as a trash bag. Inside there's her clothes, an assortment of cheap T-shirts, jeans and shoes, some which no longer fit her. Somehow along the lines she's accumulated at least fifteen toothbrushes, all cheap plastic things in different colors, green and purple and blue. She pulls it out from the bottom of her trash bag - a small calendar, like the kind you could get for free at any bank. She opens it to the current month and crosses off yesterday's date. Two years, five months, and twenty-seven days. Today's date is circled in a fading brown magic marker twice, two rings getting lighter and lighter as they continue.

The redhead smiles at her, just noticing her presence. "Hey Jo."

She forces a smile in response. "Hi..." She trails off, trying to remember her name again. Allie? Andi? God, what was it?

"April was just stopping by to say hi." Lexie explains. She doesn't know if it's because she thought she was curious, or if she could tell she couldn't remember her name. _That's right._ She tells herself now. _April. Her name's April, April Kepner. _

The two girls go back to their conversation. "Why are we getting a new foster kid? Don't we already have like, twenty kids living here?" Lexie asks. April replies she doesn't know.

"Twelve," She cuts in, and Lexie and April turn to look at her. "There's um...twelve."

"Well, I guess thirteen now," Lexie says with a shrug.

_Lucky number thirteen,_ She thinks, and then she wishes she hadn't.

"His name's Alex," April continues. "Alex Evans. Everyone is saying he just got out of juvie."

"What for?" Lexie remarks.

April shrugs. "Nobody knows for sure. I've heard everything from breaking and entering to murder. Some of the guys are taking bets."

Before they can say anything else, she finds herself climbing off the bed, brushing past April and out of the room. "Jo, is everything okay?" Lexie calls after her, but she doesn't reply.

* * *

_She comes into his room in the middle of the night. He notices first the stuffed bear in her arms. She's had Fluffy practically all of her life, and can't be without it for more than a few minutes. When she goes to bed every night, she grips Fluffy like a vice, burying her face into his soft fur. Then, he sees the tears, crystal and pristine, pooling in the corner of her eyes. _

_He climbs out of his bed, approaching his baby sister. "Hey," He whispers to her. "What's wrong, Amb?" _

_Amber's lower lip is jutted out and trembling. "Mommy and Daddy fighting." She says. "Make them stop." _

_They've been doing that a lot recently - fighting. From his room, it's barely audible, but once you get out into the hallway, or if you go into his sister's room since it's right above the kitchen, it's like you're in the middle of a war zone. He scoops her up in his arms and cradles her, before gently laying her down in his bed. He pulls the blankets practically up to her ears, protecting her and Fluffy from the outside world. "I'll be right back." He promises, before leaving the room._

_He checks on Aaron first, who is still fast asleep, his thumb stuck his mouth. It's a habit he should've given up long ago, but no one has the heart to make him stop. Then, he descends the stairs slowly, careful to avoid the creaky step. There's a light on in the kitchen, where he last saw his mother doing the dishes. He can hear a man yelling, which must mean his father's home. Lately he's been going out for most of the night, sometimes leaving even before dinner. He'd always hung out with Bobby and Bulldog - his friends, and yeah, they actually called the one guy Bulldog - but now it's like he's never around. _

_He walks up to the door to the kitchen, but doesn't open it. "I'm sorry!" He hears his mother cry, and he physically flinches when he there's the sound of breaking glass and then a hard smack. "I'm sorry!" His mother repeats, hysterical. _

"_Shut up!" A voice yells, and there's a loud crash, followed by his mother sobbing. Without another thought he bursts into the room. The sight before him is horrific. _

_His mother lies broken on the floor, tears streaming down her face and her whole body shaking from the extent of her crying. Her chestnut colored hair is stained red with her blood, and there's broken glass all over, from the glasses she dropped. _

_He almost doesn't recognize his father at first. Jimmy looms over his wife, a look that is nothing short of evil in his eyes. His hand is raised, as if he's ready to hit her again. There's a bit of blood smeared on his cheek, and it's obvious it's not his own._

_His mother sees him standing there first. "Oh my God, Alex." She gasps between her sobs. "My baby, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..." She breaks off into hysterical weeping. He doesn't know what she has to be sorry for. _

_Alex feels frozen in his spot as Jimmy approaches him. His clenches his fist as he looks down at him, a glare on his face. He can only stare, and wonder if he's going to kill him. _

_The voice that speaks is not his father. It is twisted, and evil. "This is an adult matter!" He yells, before slamming the door in his face._

* * *

He was never very easily tamed. He always felt the need to move, to do things he wasn't supposed to, even when he was a little boy with no problems bigger than if his mom would read him a bedtime story or how to hide his vegetables at the dinner table. He didn't like to be contained. "You're just like your father." His mother would say, and back then he'd thought that was a good thing. Then she'd shake her head and say a prayer for him. To Saint Jude - the patron saint of lost causes, she'd tease.

If only she knew.

The social worker wants to escort him to the front door, making him feel like he's that little kid again who everyone keeps a close eye on. He shakes his head. "I don't need your help." He snaps at her when she tries to interject, and she sighs and gives in. He doesn't have many things, just a few clothes and some basic necessities. There's a picture of his family too, at the bottom of the bag. It's the only photo he has of them, taken during the simpler times. They were at a birthday party for his grandmother, who has since died. His mom had been having what she'd call a good day - no voices in her head, no delirium, everything in perfect clarity. Amber is just a squirmy baby in their mother's grasp, Aaron a happy toddler with dimples and a big smile. Then there's him, moving around in the shot, restless as ever, his arm wrapped around nothing but a shoulder, because he ripped his father out of the photograph a long time ago. Then, he did not realize that it wasn't normal for your mom to hear voices in her head, or that someday his father would just be a shoulder, only a small portion of a whole person.

The guy who runs the place doesn't come to see him, but a woman does. She introduces herself as Miranda Bailey, Richard Webber's second-in-command. He ignores what she says mostly until she tells him to pay attention. He nods and pretends he is. He doubts she really cares. To her, he's probably just another punk ass kid with a bad attitude and no family, mooching off her boss or boyfriend or whatever the Hell Richard Webber was to her. Though technically, you could say he did have a family, but he didn't see them that way, not anymore. His mother was a nut who had fallen to pieces and left him to fend for himself and his siblings. His father was the sick bastard who had started it all because he cared more about booze, music and drugs than them. That wasn't family, not to him.

He didn't speak to her the whole time she talked, except for once, to correct her. "It's Karev." He says.

The woman looks down at the papers from Social Services and shrugs, crossing Alex Evans out and putting Alex Karev in his place.

* * *

There is a spot in the back of the yard that always goes unnoticed. A quiet spot between the wall and the fence, where they keep the garden hose. Whenever Jo wants to be alone, it's where she goes. She'll sit by herself in the grass, or on top of the hose when the earth is wet from rain or snow. It is a perfect spot, and sometimes, she can make out the rest of the world just above the neighbor's trees. There, no one will think to look for her - not that anyone would come looking anyway. No one ever did.

She opens the calendar again and sighs when she looks at the date. "Happy fifteenth birthday to me." She says to herself. Well, at least she thinks it's to herself.

"Happy birthday," She screams when she realizes she's not alone, jumping in her seat on top of the hose. When she turns to look there's a guy standing there. He looks older than her, he's probably almost eighteen by now. His face is slightly shrouded by a black hooded sweatshirt, but he pulls it down, exposing not only handsome features but a proud smirk that makes her want to punch him in the face. "Sorry." He says. "Did I scare you, princess?"

She glares at him. "No." She says. "And my name is not princess, it's Jo."

"I like princess better." He replies. "I'm Alex, pleasure to meet you, princess."

"Oh," She says, looking at him. "So you're the new guy around here. What did you get into juvie for?"

"I killed a bunch of people," He answers sarcastically.

She raises an eyebrow. "Hmm. Alex Evans, serial killer."

"It's Karev," He corrects her.

She shrugs. "I think jackass suits you better." She replies.

"Whatever you say, princess." He says.

Jo laughs, and stares at him for a second. When April had said the other kids were taking bets on how he'd gotten into juvie, it had made her upset. At first she hadn't known why, but now she thought she got it. Because she didn't know what Alex Evans' - no, Karev, she corrects herself - life has been like. She wonders how he ended up here. Did his mom leave him at a fire station, like hers did? Did he go through life just like her - alone, abused, afraid to get close to people? "Are you seriously this much of a jerk, or this all an act because you're really sensitive and damaged on the inside?"

He sighs and shoves his hands into his pockets. "Do you seriously think I want to spill my secrets to a fourteen year old?"

"Fifteen," She corrects. At least, she's pretty sure. She doesn't know when her exact birthdate was. This was just an estimate. Not that she's going to tell him that.

"Whatever," He says. "Point is, I don't have time to babysit."

She looks at him, giving him a what-did-you-just-say-to-me look. He snorts and walks away.

Okay, she takes it back. He's just an asshole.

* * *

_I hope this was a good first chapter. My plans are for there to be some parallels to the Jolex storylines on Grey's, but only some because this is AU. There will also be several more flashbacks so you can get a better insight into Alex and Jo's pasts. And like I said, there will be many more familiar faces, not just Lexie and April. Thanks for reading!_


	2. part two

_I originally planned to knock out every holiday in one chapter, but then the chapter I wrote before Halloween turned out to be over 3,000 words alone. So, there will be a chapter for Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and probably New Year's. This story won't be very long, so my plan is to finish it in about January! I think I calculated it would be about seven chapters, give or take. _

_If I owned Grey's, the show would probably center around Jolex, George and Slexie would still be alive, and Meredith and Cristina would be besties again. But, none of that is happening because the show isn't mine._

* * *

**part two; **

Sometimes, she'd think about what it would've been like if she could insert herself into one of the families she stayed with. Jo Stewart would've been on the honor roll, and captain of the girls' track or soccer team. Jo McGinty would've belonged to a large, loud family of Irish Catholics who celebrated every holiday together and had Sunday night dinners. She couldn't even think about how Jo Young would've been, and she wasn't there long enough to discover what Jo Crawley was all about. Jo Webber would be the quiet, introverted girl, who went through life unseen, afraid that if she reached out she'd be hurt. Out of all the girls she'd thought up, Jo Webber was the most like Jo Wilson.

She thinks about this all day on Halloween. She's never been a fan of the holidays - they're really rather depressing when you don't have family to share them with - but she knows that if she had to dress up this year, she'd be someone else. A girl with a family, a girl who was loved, a girl who belonged. That wasn't a costume she could find at any Halloween store.

She's eating lunch by herself when she meets Stephanie Edwards. In her almost three years living at Richard Webber's, no one has ever just walked up to her and introduced themselves like Stephanie does - unless you count her first meeting with Alex Karev in the backyard, which Jo definitely does not.

"Are you going to the Halloween party tomorrow?" Stephanie asks, and Jo shakes her head. Honestly, she hadn't even known there was one.

"I don't have a costume," She lies.

Stephanie, of course, has a solution. She gives her a pair of crudely made, silver, fairy wings. "You can be Tinkerbell."

It wasn't what she wanted to be, but for this year, a fairy will have to do.

* * *

According to Stephanie, the foster kids are trying to start a tradition of throwing secret Halloween parties in the Webber's basement. "They'll be too busy giving out candy to notice we're all gone," She explains. "Plus the basement's sound proof."

Jo dawns the fairy wings Stephanie gave her, and she pulls her hair up into a tight knot on the top of her head. Stephanie is a clown, in an ugly polka dot blouse and too much face makeup. When they arrive at the party, Stephanie does a secret knock on the basement door - too long ones, a short one, and then a long one again. The door is opened ever so slightly by an Asian girl with long black curls and a serious expression. She looks both ways when she sticks her head out. "What's the password, Grumpy?"

"Ummm..." Stephanie says. "Halloween?"

The Asian girl rolls her eyes, but lets them in anyway when someone from inside yells 'Who's at the door?'. "I don't know, I didn't invite them," The Asian girl tells her friend, a blonde with pink streaks in her hair and a cigarette between her fingers.

The blonde pulls out a lighter and lights up. "Nice costumes," She says sarcastically as the Asian girl lets Jo and Stephanie in. The blonde takes the first puff from her cigarette, and she blows smoke in all their faces.

Stephanie leads her downstairs and into the basement. There's a few stolen Halloween decorations hanging from the ceiling, and no furniture other than a table, unless you count the washer and dryer that some kids are sitting on. Someone's put out all the food they could get, a bag of those miniature candy bars and some drinks. Everyone is simply standing around and talking, drinking fruit punch spiked with rum out of cups that don't match.

Now, Jo understands the sarcasm behind the blonde's comment. "I thought you said everyone was going to be in costume!" She whispers to Stephanie.

"That's what they told me!" They're some of the only people in the room who tried to dress up, except for a few of the other younger kids, who were obviously tricked as well. Some of the older kids snicker and whisper when they see Jo and Stephanie, all of them in their T-shirts and jeans while everyone else makes a fool of themselves.

Stephanie's friends spend most of the night standing in the corner, talking and drinking the punch and rum mixture. There's a girl in a too small top who is supposed to be a cowgirl, and another who is dressed up as a mouse. There's a boy who has tied a black ribbon around his forehead and called himself a ninja.

They all seem nice, they really do, but Jo finds herself beginning to zone out about half an hour into their conversation. Stephanie pops a piece of candy into her mouth, and then offers one to Jo. Watermelon. She shakes her head and says no thanks.

Around her, everything is getting louder as everyone gets drunker. There's more smoke in the room as more people light up their cigarettes, and it becomes harder for her to breathe. She wants to get out of there, she needs air. She needs to be alone. It's only when you're alone that you're truly safe.

"Hey, you made it." The voice of the smoking blonde catches her attention, rising above the rest of the noise like the smoke from her cigarette. When Jo turns her head, she sees the blonde greeting someone at the door - a nearly eighteen year old with a hoodie and handsome features but, tonight, no smirk. She suddenly feels something in the pit of her stomach, an ache, a churn. And when their eyes lock, for the briefest moment she feels like someone is looking right into the depths of her soul, like someone can see her for everything she truly is. And it scares the shit out of her.

* * *

_He is surrounded by painted faces, fake smiles and ugly scowls and blood dripping. Underneath the masks, his parents' friends are laughing and talking as they have cigarettes and booze it up, and the air is thick with smoke and the stench of alcohol. He shoves through the throng of people, not bothering to stop when one mask or the other says hello and tries to make a comment about how big he's gotten or how they love his costume. _

_He finally finds his mother, barely recognizable with all the makeup and fake hair she's put on. The skirt of her dress is so big and long people keep stepping on it as they walk past. Amber - the princess to their mom's queen - is sitting on the counter in a baby green dress, swinging her legs and back and forth. Aaron is at the table, a Spiderman stuffing Hershey kisses into his mouth. _

_And much to his horror, he sees his father, dressed as Superman, freaking _Superman_. A Lex Luthor or Doomsday costume would be much more fitting. His mother adjusts his father's cape, telling him how handsome he looks and it makes him want to actually puke. _

_When his mother turns to look at him, she acts like nothing's wrong, like they're the perfect family on Halloween. "Why Alex," She says. "Don't you make a handsome superhero," He fidgets, and pulls on his costume. He hates these tights. While he'd been excited when he first got his Batman costume, now he looks at his father, and feels almost physically ill when he thinks about how his and his father's costumes are connected to each other. _

_"You look great, kiddo." Jimmy says, and he has the audacity to _smile_ at him. Alex looks away, unable to meet his father's eyes. "When are you taking us out?" He asks his mother. He can't be around his father for another minute, or he thinks he'll lose it. _

_Her face falls, but then she snaps back. After all, a queen always keeps up appearances, never letting the kingdom know what's wrong. "I'm sorry, honey." She says. "But, your father will take you." Alex locks eyes with his father, who is giving him a reassuring look, as if to say 'Everything's fine, I'm not a wife beater, just relax'. _

_He is about to protest when Amber speaks up. "Mommy," She says innocently. "Why is there blood on your neck?"_

_Immediately, their mother's hand reaches up to her neck, while he and Aaron turn their gazes to the wound in question. Alex spots a patch of dried blood caking her skin, just a small patch she'd probably missed when cleaning her injuries. _

_Their father looks at her too, trying to keep up his facade, yet discreetly gives his wife a look, as if he's telling her not to say anything. "Because it's Halloween, honey." Their mother tells Amber, trying to hide the shaking in her voice. She's terrified. "It's part of my costume." _

_"But you're a queen," Amber replies, not realizing the real reason why their mother is bloody, not noticing her fear. He envies her naïveté. _

_"I'm a scary queen," Their mother insists, tickling Amber's belly and sending her into a flurry of giggles. Aaron laughs too, even though no one is touching him. They are so young, so happy, so innocent. _

_His father says nothing, his face stone cold. "We should probably get going," He says, grabbing Aaron by the arm. Suddenly, his mother stops smiling, like she is terrified she - or worse, one of her children - is going to receive a beating. "You know," Jimmy explains. "Before it gets dark." His mother nods sullenly and lowers Amber from the counter. _

_Right then, he really wishes his costume was real. He wishes he was a real superhero who could swoop in and save his mother. But at the end of the day, it's really just a costume. He doesn't have any powers._

* * *

That was the last Halloween party he ever went to, until today. He stands outside the door to the Webber's basement, feeling like he's frozen in his place. "Ready to go in?" Jackson asks him, his hand already poised to do the first in the sequence of secret knocks. He's not, but he nods anyway.

When Jackson knocks, Cristina opens the door. The swell of noise and smoke behind her practically gives him a flashback. "Come on in, boys." She says, and he silently walks inside.

"Hey," Meredith says, smiling. "You made it." She hugs him and Alex swears her cigarette is going to light his hair on fire. He can picture it now, flames engulfing him, fire spreading, it's red and orange tips hot and burning, everything turning to ashes, the fiery pain turning into a warm glow as he morphs into nothingness...

When he looks down into the basement, she's looking at him. The girl from the backyard, Jo. The little fifteen year old who had called him by his father's name. _The princess is dressed like a princess._ He thinks, and when he sees her green dress and fairy wings, he thinks about his sister, wearing a dress of the same hue and a tiara many Halloweens ago, innocently asking their mother why there was blood on her. And all of a sudden, they morph into one person - the little girl and Jo Wilson, becoming one mess of brown eyes and destroyed innocence and irreparable damage.

A question from Jackson interrupts his thoughts. "What?" He asks, forcing himself to tear his gaze away from the younger girl.

"I said," Jackson repeats. "Do you want a drink?"

When he turns back, she's not looking at him anymore, she's talking to a girl with clown makeup. His answer sticks in his throat.

* * *

"What color do you think Jackson Avery's eyes are?"

Jo swallows her drink. The liquor burns her throat, a hot, searing pain that she enjoys. "What?"

"Jackson Avery," Stephanie repeats dreamily, like she's in a trance. "Do you think his eyes are blue, or green? Or both?"

"Who?" Jo asks, and Stephanie, annoyed, nods towards a guy with a gorgeous face and shaved head on the stairs. He leans up against the stairwell wall, a cup in his hands, talking.

"I honestly don't know," Jo simply says. "Who cares what color his eyes are anyway?"

"I do," Stephanie retorts. She pauses, looking over at her three friends, who are engrossed in a conversation. "Come with me when I talk to him." She says to Jo.

"Me?" She asks, incredulous. "No way, you go talk to him."

"Please, Jo!" Stephanie says, practically begging. "Please, please! I promise I'll pay you back someday!"

With a sigh, Jo looks back towards where Jackson Avery is standing. He takes a sip of his drink, surveying the room. "Fine," She gives in, and Stephanie squeals.

The two girls walk over together, Stephanie pestering Jo to tell her how her hair looks. She responds that she looks fine without looking. They're halfway towards the stairwell when all of a sudden Jackson Avery smiles at someone, and he shows up.

Jo's feels like someone's knocked the wind out of her when Alex appears next to Jackson, and the two of them start to talk. "Oh no," She mumbles, and it's supposed to be to herself, but apparently Stephanie hears, because she asks what's wrong. "This isn't a good idea," Jo says. "We have to go back."

"Why?" Stephanie asks. "We're almost there. Are you okay?"

Jo is about to lie and says she feels ill - which, technically isn't a lie, because the closer she gets to Alex Karev the more the butterflies in her stomach flutter, and she feels like she might throw up all of the punch. But then his head turns, and it's too late. He's seen her, he knows she's walking over.

"Hi," Stephanie says nervously, looking from Jackson to Alex and back again. "I'm Stephanie, this is my friend Jo."

"Hi," Jackson says, politely but his uncomfortable feeling still evident. He looks past Stephanie's head - at a redhead she recognizes as April Kepner, who is chatting up Stephanie's male friend, the ninja - "I'm Jackson. This is Alex." Jo hears him say something else but she doesn't look at him, because she swears it's like a magnetic force is making her look at Alex. He's watching her too, his expression neutral, his jaw set.

At first she doesn't realize what's happening until Stephanie and Jackson are brushing past them. She turns around quickly. "Wait, where are you going?" She calls after them, but Stephanie waves her question off and continues to walk away.

Jo turns back around to look at him, and he smirks at her. It's half-hearted, but it's a smirk, nonetheless. "Nice to see you again, princess."

She snorts. "Shut up, jerk."

He grins, and takes a sip of his drink. "If you didn't want me to call you princess, then maybe it wasn't such a good idea to wear a princess costume."

She instinctively reaches back to touch the end of her wings. The corners are slightly pointed, and a piece of wire that has poked out from under the fabric pricks her finger. "I didn't pick this," She explains. "My friend gave it to me."

"The clown?" Alex asks, laughing. "How'd you meet her, anyway? I wouldn't have pegged her for your type."

"I don't have to marry her," Jo retorts. "How do you know my type anyway?"

"Oh, I can read you like a book." He replies. She thinks about the look he was giving her earlier, when he first arrived, and the weird feeling she'd got. She doesn't understand how some guy she just met can claim to know her so well - or how she can feel like maybe he actually does. They've only talked once, and he was an ass to her. How does he know what she's like?

"Well I didn't peg Jackson for your type," She says, acting unfazed. "Or those girls either."

"Who, Mer and Yang?" He asks. "You were watching me, then?" _You were looking at me too. _She wants to say, but the words don't come out. "Jackson's my roommate," Alex continues. "And Meredith and Cristina..." He trails off and shrugs, deciding not to say what he'd originally been planning to. "They just get me I guess."

"They must be very intuitive to see past this facade of yours," She replies. She doesn't know why she says it. Maybe it's because if he gets to think he knows her so well, she wants to know him too. Maybe she wants him to feel as naked and exposed as she did when he looked at her like he could actually she past her walls. And maybe, just maybe, she was thinking what it would be like to hurt someone, instead of being the one who gets hurt. But only maybe.

He's quick though - he's not divulging any secrets. He keeps the upper hand, and that scares her, because she hates not being in control. When someone has control over her, that's when the bad things happen. "Who said it was a facade?" He says.

A reply is on the tip of her tongue when all of a sudden the door to the basement is thrown open. Miranda Bailey is standing in the doorway, looking angry, while Richard Webber appears behind her, shocked. The whole room suddenly goes quiet. Laughter ceases. Booze stops being poured. The blonde - Meredith - drops her cigarette onto the floor and stomps it out with her boot.

"What is going on in here?" Richard Webber thunders. No one has an answer for him. "All of you out, now!"

It takes a moment for everyone to get back into motion. Slowly, people shuffle out of the room, trying to keep their heads down and only mumbling quietly to the person next to them. She is frozen in her spot, because Alex Karev hasn't looked away from her the whole time. "Move it," Miranda Bailey barks, and she feels her hand on her arm, yanking her and Alex by their arms and up the stairs. His face never falters, his walls never fall. It's then, looking back at him, that a realization hits her.

Unintentionally, she's become Tinkerbell for the boy who won't grow up.

* * *

_This is totally un-Beta'd, so hope it's okay. Reviews are appreciated, it would make my day!_


	3. part three

_This chapter covers Thanksgiving. It also marks the beginning of Alex and Jo's friendship. Enjoy!_

_Grey's Anatomy belongs to that life-ruiner Shonda Rhimes, not me. There's also some direct (or almost direct) quotes from the show in this chapter, as well as future ones, and I don't own those either._

* * *

**part three; **

Stephanie starts dating Jackson Avery sometime after Halloween. Jo isn't sure exactly how it happens, and honestly, she doesn't care to know. Something definitely happened though, because they both seemed very uncomfortable and awkward when they first met at the party, and then a couple weeks later she goes to Stephanie's room and finds them making out. She doesn't ask, and Stephanie doesn't offer anything up, simply saying it "just happened", whatever that means.

She spends her days quietly, usually by herself, but sometimes with Stephanie and her friends. She remembers their names now - the one girl was Leah Murphy, while the weird, shorter girl with quirky tendencies was Heather Brooks, and the boy, the only boy in their group, was called Shane Ross. At first she doesn't say much when she's with them, just letting them talk and only chiming in when they ask for her opinion. But slowly, Jo begins to add something to the conversation without being prompted, and the group accepts her wholeheartedly as one of their own. She develops a whole new respect for these people the more she gets to know them. She knows things about them that she doubts anyone else does. Like that Leah is obsessive over people she likes because growing up no one showed her affection, or that Heather acts so weird to keep her sadness at bay, or that Shane kisses up to authority figures because his father's verbal abuse left him with a desperate need to please people. (She doesn't tell them much about her past, other than that she's been in a lot of foster homes before this one, and no one pushes her to say anything more. They don't ask her about it, they don't push.)

She goes to meet them at a little spot one of them found on the roof. From there, you can see far, the whole Seattle skyline, and it's a beautiful spot, even though it smells like the fish market on the next street over. Today, she's wearing her sweatshirt, the one with all the loose threads, and even with it on she's still cold. "It was amazing," Leah is gushing, probably about some guy who looked at her for a second too long and convinced her he was in love with her. "He's tender, gentle..."

"Oh please," Stephanie scoffs. "Jackson is gentle. He's..." She trails off.

"Who are we talking about?" Jo asks, sitting down between Shane and Stephanie.

"Leah let Alex Karev do her by the garden hose." Shane says. "And now she thinks they're going to be together forever."

When he says this, her face falls. She pictures it in her mind - Alex shoving Leah up against the wall, her legs wrapped around his waist, his lips crushing against her with so much power and passion, those eyes looking into her as he does her over and over in the very spot she'd met him...

She shakes her head. Why does she care? It's none of her business, anyway. If Leah wants to get involved with him, fine. And if he wants to screw a bunch of random girls, fine. She may know Alex but she's definitely not his girlfriend. She doesn't even like him.

And yet, a small, small part of her is hurt that he had the audacity to fuck another girl in their spot.

"You guys don't understand," Leah interjects. "It was...perfect. Yes, it was perfect. We're meant to be together, I know it and he knows it."

"Alex Karev doesn't do commitment," Heather says. "So just enjoy the sex and don't expect anything more."

"How do you know?" Leah asks. "I've never even seen the two of you talk."

"Because I slept with him too, okay?" Heather blurts out.

Jo, Leah, Stephanie and Shane all turn to stare at her, wide-eyed. "He got you too?" Shane asks.

Heather shrugs. "Well, yeah. We talked after the Halloween party, he said I made a cute mouse and..." She shrugs again. "Wow, it was so much better than any conversation. It was amazing but I know his type. He's not into me in anything other than a sexual way."

"I still think he's going to ask me out." Leah says. She pauses, before adding: "He is really good isn't he?"

Shane resists rolling his eyes. "So," He says to Jo and Stephanie. "While they compare notes about how Karev is in the sack..."

"Sorry guys," Jo interjects, and they all pause their conversations to look at her. "I umm, have to go."

"Well, okay." Stephanie says. "Are you feeling alright?"

Jo nods, even though she's not. "Yeah," She replies. "I'll be fine."

* * *

She shows up at his door, smiling and perky. "Hi," She greets him, stepping into his room without being invited in.

"Hey," He replies, confused. "What are you doing here..." He can't remember her name. _God, what is her name?_ He takes a guess. "...Lola?"

Her face falls. "Leah," She corrects gently. "Leah Murphy?"

He nods, like this rings a bell. He remembers her, and he remembers doing her, but that's about all that he remembers. "Right, Leah." He affirms. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh you know," Leah says, shrugging and pretending to act casual. "I was just walking by, decided to say hi...and I wanted to know why you never talked to me after...you know."

Oh God, she was one of those. He thinks back to after, when he'd being zipping up his pants and getting ready to move on with life. She'd given him this look - nothing short of _Fatal Attraction_, now that he thinks about it - and dammit, he should've known then. "Leslie..." He says.

"It's Leah," She corrects again, a little harsher this time. She's already getting upset. This won't be pretty. Time to turn on the charm.

"Leah," He continues, as if he hasn't been interrupted. "You're nice and everything, and I really wish we could have some more time together, I really do, but you know how it is..."

"Oh my God," She sighs, knowing what he's going to say before he says it. A lot of other guys have probably given her the same spiel. "Oh my God, I'm an idiot. I should've known. You already screwed one of my friends. I should've listened to Jo, and Shane and -"

"Wait," He interrupts her. "What about Jo?"

She laughs, sounding disgusted. "Don't even think about crossing her name off next in your little black book because she knows what you're like. She would've never fall for a...a _pig_ like you!"

He's surprised by how much the word stings. Does she really think that about him? Leah storms out of the room, brushing past Jackson, who is on his way in. "Oh, hi Leah - " He starts to say, but she simply scoffs and is long gone before he can finish. Jackson turns to his roommate now. "What was that about?"

Alex shrugs. "Girls," He says. "You know how they are."

Jackson nods, and sits down on his bed. "So," He says. "I was talking to Stephanie and your name came up."

"Who is she again?"

"The girl I'm seeing," Jackson answers. "You know how at the Halloween party April and I - "

"You know, for someone who's not your girlfriend, you talk about her a lot." He interjects.

"She isn't my girlfriend! Stephanie is my girlfriend!" Jackson says. "Like I was saying, at the Halloween party we both agreed to meet other people, and now she's bringing Shane Ross with her to Thanksgiving. So, I wasn't originally planning to _officially_ bring Stephanie with me, but if April is taking Shane then I can't go alone. But when I asked Stephanie if she wanted to be my date to dinner, she said she didn't want this one friend of hers to have to go alone. So I kind of promised I'd set her friend up with one of my friends."

Alex looks at him. "So you want me to take Stephanie's friend to stupid Thanksgiving?"

Jackson nods. "Yeah, come on, it will be fun!"

"Thanksgiving dinner is not my definition of fun,"

"Well, you're going to have to go, no matter what," Jackson says. "Why not bring a date? That'll make just a little less boring, right?"

He thinks about it, and sighs. "Fine."

* * *

"You asked Jackson to set me up?" Jo repeats, shocked.

Stephanie sighs. "Yes! What's the big deal?"

"I don't want to go on a blind date," Jo says. "I don't do blind dates. Or more accurately I don't do dates period." Going on dates meant getting attached, and she didn't like to get attached. It was more painful that way. She had to protect herself.

"Yeah, and when you met me you said you didn't do friends." Stephanie says. Stephanie touches her shoulder. "Look, I'm really happy with Jackson, and I want you to be really happy too. You deserve it. Please, please go on the date."

She thinks about it, and sighs. "Fine."

* * *

In his opinion, Thanksgiving is the worst holiday. He usually spends it alone, having to scavenge for leftovers at whatever foster home he is staying in and think about how much his life sucks. But this year, he gets to eat a big dinner and talk to other people about how much his life sucks. Yay.

He's not sure exactly how many years it's been since he's had a big Thanksgiving dinner. When he was a kid, sometimes his mother would try to cook, if she was having a good day, but she wasn't a very good chef, and usually burnt whatever she was making. They'd sit around the dining room table, eating mashed potatoes from a box and cranberry sauce out of a can. If, however, Thanksgiving fell on a day when his mother was out of sorts, everything would fall on his father, who would hand them bags of potato chips and Cheetos and tell them to shut up, let them taste his beer while he watched the football game. Their mother would lock herself into the master bedroom, where she would pace back and forth and yell at the voices in her head which she were convinced were out to get her. They never, ever said what they were thankful for, and he was secretly glad, because most of the time he felt like he had nothing.

"You look great," Jackson assures him as they wait for Stephanie and her friend outside the bathroom. "Tonight is going to be great."

"Yeah, yeah, sure." He replies, checking his watch impatiently. "Where are these girls anyway? They're late."

"They'll be out in a second," Jackson says, and then he smiles when Stephanie walks out to join them. A moment later, a brunette girl follows her out, looking down as she smooths out her pants. _At least she's attractive,_ he thinks, and he opens his mouth to give her a half-hearted greeting, but then she looks up and they both freeze.

Jo stares at him, her mouth hanging open from surprise. He's dumbfounded as he turns to Jackson. "Seriously?" He whispers to him, at the same time Jo whispers to Stephanie: "He's the guy?"

They turn back towards each other, and he smiles weakly even though he's definitely not happy. She crosses her arms over her chest, and doesn't smile.

Yup. Alex definitely hates Thanksgiving.

* * *

Several tables had to be pushed together to seat all of them, and still when everyone sits down they're bumping elbows with the person next to them. Jo has no idea which fork or water glass is hers since they're so close together, Stephanie on her one side and Alex on her other. Stephanie is engaged in a conversation with Jackson, laughing at something he says that probably isn't funny. Jo fidgets in her seat, while Alex sits beside her, silently staring ahead of him. She looks over to him and then turns back, not sure what to say.

"Alright, everybody," April Kepner says happily, standing up and tapping against her water glass. "In the spirit of Thanksgiving, let's go around and say what we're thankful for." She is met with several moans and groans from the other occupants of the table. She moves her finger in circles on the edge of her water glass, wracking her brain and shifting through many bad memories for something to say when it's her turn. She's not thankful for the bad foster homes, or the abandonment, and definitely not for...that thing. And then suddenly, Alex speaks up.

"What do _we_ have to be thankful for?" He asks, and everyone turns to stare at him. "We're all here because we have no one, nobody wants us. Maybe we'd like to actually try to enjoy our evening instead of having to sort through all the times life has kicked us around to find the one something good."

She knows he's right. The occupants of Richard Webber's house have all been to Hell and back. Everyone knew that Derek Shepherd's father had been murdered in front of him and his little sister when he was a kid, or that Social Services found Callie Torres living on the street because her parents kicked her out for being a lesbian. Her mother had left her at a fire station. They were all there because they had nothing and no one.

April opens her mouth to reply, but then she closes it, and sinks back down into her seat, looking defeated. She wonders if she's thinking about why she's here. "Who wants gravy?" is all she says.

They eat the rest of their meal in silence.

* * *

He finds her sitting in an arm chair after dinner, picking at a slice of pumpkin pie. "Coffee?" He asks, and she looks up, before hesitantly taking one of the cups.

"Thanks," She says, balancing the cup of coffee and the plate on the arm of the chair. He sits in a chair near her, taking a sip from his own coffee cup. She looks at him, and finally decides to speak the words on her mind: "Thanks for what you said back there too."

He looks down and shrugs. "It was no problem."

"It was a big deal to me," She insists. "I've been through a lot of crap in my life...I really didn't want to have to relive all of that in my head just to think of some stupid thing I'm thankful for. I bet everyone else feels the same way." She sees the flashbacks again – his hands on her, being slammed up against the wall, warmth spreading down her legs – but shakes her head, tries to make them go away.

"I've been through a lot of bad shit too," He says. "More than you, trust me."

She looks at him, eyebrow raised. "Oh really?" She says. "How many foster homes have you been kicked out of?"

"Seventeen," He replies, unfazed. "And as you know, I had a nice, long stint in juvie."

Okay, she can't beat that number. "Have you ever lived in a neighborhood so overrun with junkies that you're worried one of them is going to throw a rock through the window?" She asks.

"No," He says. "Because the junkie was my dad and he didn't break windows, just fingers."

She looks down, thinking. When she meets his eyes again she has a serious expression on her face. "Have you ever had foster parents who made you and nineteen other kids sleep in the basement? Lights out, no talking, and if you had to pee in the middle of the night you had to go in buckets they had lined up along the walls. But you couldn't turn the lights because if you did then the big kids would take those buckets, and..."

He looks at her, horrified. "No,"

Her serious face breaks when she smiles. "Me either, saw it in a movie on cable."

Slowly, he grins, and then he laughs. She laughs too, so hard she thinks coffee is going to come out of her nose. When she looks over at him, she wonders if anyone else has ever gotten this close. If anyone has ever seen him as anything more than a punk ass kid from juvie.

She herself has to begrudgingly admit, Alex Karev probably knows more about her than anyone else.


	4. part four

_Here is the next chapter. This was the hardest one for me to write so far so I hope you like it. _

_Still don't own the show. And again, there are some quotes in here that aren't mine either._

* * *

**part four;**

She gets into a habit of starting to sleep on his floor. It's weird, she knows, and she feels like she's back at the Crawley's again - for the week she was there she had to share a bed with another girl, who always took up all of the space and pushed her off, causing Jo to wake up on the ground in the morning with a neck cramp. It's just that she and Alex spend so much time together now, hanging out in his room, laughing and talking and teasing each other. Sometimes, they talk about the past, but not really. They both have the subjects they don't dare to touch. She doesn't tell him about what happened to her. He doesn't tell her why went to juvie. And neither of them push the other to say anything more because both of them have things they'd rather hide.

Most of the time, they fall asleep before she can go back to her room, him in his bed and her on the ground next to it, snuggled up against his carpet. It's not comfortable, and she's had some pretty awkward encounters with Derek Shepherd, Mark Sloan and Owen Hunt, because they live in the room across the hall and see her slip out in the same clothes she wore the night before. It feels like the walk of shame. "Being your friend is basically ruining my life," She tells him teasingly.

"I've heard that before," He replies.

When Stephanie, Leah, Heather and Shane first find out she's been having sleepovers with Alex, they're appalled. "You know better than to get involved with him!" Leah tells her. "When I slept with him you were horrified!"

"This really isn't a good idea, Jo." Stephanie says. "You're going to get hurt."

"I'm not," She simply replies, and honestly, this is one of the first time's in a long time when she's not worried about it.

* * *

He's cleaning up after a night with Jo when the girls barge in. "Are you sleeping with her?" Meredith asks.

He smiles at her. "Well, hello to you too, Meredith." He responds sarcastically.

"Sorry," She says. "Hi, Alex. Now answer the question."

"We're just friends," He answers. "That's it."

"Is it possible for Evil Spawn to be just friends with a girl?" Cristina asks Meredith. The other girl shrugs in response.

"Hey now," He interjects. "I'm just friends with both of you."

"Probably only because we're not emotionally available." Cristina says. "You'd be lucky to tap this."

"Now, what do emotions have to do with anything?" He asks.

Meredith shrugs. "I guess if you did have to get emotionally involved with a girl she wouldn't be so bad..."

Cristina scoffs. "That hairball?"

"Hey," He finds himself saying. "She's not a hairball." And apparently, he sounds like he really means it, because after that Meredith and Cristina have nothing to say.

* * *

"One more step," She instructs, and he walks forward blindly, his hands out in front of him so he doesn't walk into anything.

"What are you doing?" He asks, growing impatient.

"Be patient and shut up," She says, readjusting her hands over his eyes. "Okay, we're here. Now, open!"

She retracts her hands and he opens his eyes. Next to him,Jo smiles, proud of herself. "It's for me when I spend the night."

They're in his room, but he'd figured as much. When he opens his eyes, Alex is shocked to see that there is now a new piece of furniture, a couch in the free space between his bed and the wall. How did she get that up here? Why did she buy him a couch? But that's not what he asks. "How much did it cost?"

She shrugs and walks over to the couch, sitting down and crossing her legs. "I had some money saved up," She says, like it's nothing. She picks up a box that she's left on the couch, holds it up and shows him the contents. It makes him think of that day. "Powdered sugar donuts, they're your favorite."

He doesn't know what to say as he walks over and sits down. She spent her savings on him. She remembered his favorite donuts. He wants to thank her in some way, but all that comes out is: "This is _such_ a girlfriend thing,"

Jo laughs. "Come on, you're like, my brother." She says, shaking her head.

Alex continues to stare at her, until her laughter dies down. She looks up, and realizes he's still watching her. Why is he looking at her like that? He's like her brother, isn't he?

Slowly, he closes the distance between them, until his lips are right there, practically begging for her to kiss him. She feels like she can't breathe all of a sudden, as she stares into his eyes, feeling afraid.

He'd started out as her friend first too.

His nose brushes against hers and he puckers his lips, waiting. But then she snaps back quickly, so she's on the other end of the couch. "Eat your donut," She mumbles, pushing the box towards him.

He looks away and silently complies.

* * *

_Sometimes, if he closes his eyes, he can still hear her screams. _

_"No!" Amber roars, with an awful amount of anger for a ten year old. "No, you can't take him!" She'd yells, pounding onto the police officer's chest with her little fists. "No, no, no!" _

_Their foster father at the time, Mr. Harris, finally comes over and pulls her away from Detective Newcomb, struggling to hold the fidgeting girl steady. Now Amber turns towards him, hits Mr. Harris in the chest and screams at him as he pulls her away. "No!" She cries out. "No, he's my Alex! They can't take him! No!" _

_Inside, his heart is breaking, but he can't let them see him cry. "Promise me you'll take care of Amber," He says to Aaron, as the second officer lowers him into the squad car. He's hands are behind his back, the cuffs digging into the sensitive skin of his wrists. "Promise me, Aaron." _

_His brother can only nod, tears streaming down his cheeks. He reaches out and hugs Alex, who is unable to hug him back. "I'm sorry," Alex whispers to him, trying to hold his emotions in. This is the last thing he can give them - the ability to be their big, strong older brother one more time. _

_Now, Mrs. Harris comes out for Aaron. She casts a mournful glance at Alex before she takes the other boy's hand. "No!" Aaron says to her. "No, I'm not done saying goodbye yet! No -" Aaron looks to him, begging him to stop them, but he is powerless. The car door shuts, and he can't hear the words Aaron screams after him as the car pulls out of Mr. and Mrs. Harris' driveway. _

_He turns around in his seat, watches the officers buckle their seat belts and turn on the radio. They talk to each other, ignoring his presence. Alex tries to turn around, searching for one last look at his brother and sister, but they're gone. _

_He never sees either of them again._

* * *

He tells himself he hadn't wanted to kiss her.

No, he'd just gotten caught up in the moment. She'd done something nice for him, and he was still getting used to being just friends with girls. It was _Jo_. He didn't think about her that way. He couldn't.

It seems, however, that he's the only person who feels this way.

"You're in love with Jo," Jackson tells him, even though he assures him he's not.

"We're just friends," He says, over and over again.

"Told you they were doing it, Avery." Meredith interrupts, striding into the room uninvited. "You owe me twenty bucks." Jackson and Cristina dig around in their pockets for the cash but he stops them.

"Wilson and I are not into each other," Alex repeats, slumping down onto the couch. Whenever he sits on it, he thinks of her.

Meredith runs her hand down the pillow, admiring the texture of the fabric. "You know, you could do a lot worse," She mulls.

And God, does he know that. Even if he did think about Jo that way - which he does not, he tells himself - he would never be good enough for her. He fails everyone he cares about. And he'll be damned if he fails her too.

* * *

_She taps her fingers against the kitchen table, in the time with the ticking of the clock. There is a burst of laughter from behind her as some of the other foster kids run outside to play, and she watches them go forlornly. When she turns back around, he is standing in the doorway, watching her. _

_Thomas Young, her newest foster father, is a man in his mid-forties, with a head full of salt and pepper hair and a wide girth. "Hi," He says. Little wrinkles appear in the corners of his eyes as he smiles at her, tight-lipped. She only stares back, too shy to speak. _

_He pulls out a chair across from her at the kitchen table. He digs around in his pocket, and when he pulls his hand back out, there's a small, hard candy in the center of his palm. "A sweet for the sweet," He says, and she giggles softly. She takes the candy from him, and sticks it in her mouth. It tastes like watermelon. Back then watermelon had been her favorite. Now the thought of it makes her gag. _

_"My name's Tom," He says to her. _

_She continues to suck on the candy. "...I'm Jo." _

_He grins. "It's nice to meet you, Jo. You're very pretty." She smiles, because no one's ever called her pretty before. _

_She has to give Tom Young credit. He was the reason she was afraid to let anyone in for so many years. _

* * *

She tells herself he hadn't wanted to kiss her.

No, he'd just gotten caught up in the moment. She'd done something nice for him, and he was still getting used to being just friends with girls. It was _Alex_. He didn't think about her that way. He couldn't.

It seems, however, that she's the only person who feels this way.

"Do you have feelings for Karev?" Stephanie asks her. It's a Monday morning and they're stuck in school. She surveys the crowd for Alex because she can't get through the week without seeing him first, his presence is the only thing that makes high school bearable.

"What?" She says, trying to fight her way through the throngs of people, a bookbag whacking her in chest. "You're crazy."

"It's okay if you do," Stephanie continues, as if she hasn't been interrupted at all. "Then Jackson and I could double with you!"

Jo rolls her eyes, and looks back to set Stephanie straight, but when she turns away just for a second, she feels her body collide with someone, and then she slips and falls flat on her back. The wind is knocked out of her, but the crowd doesn't stop, simply walking around her. A hand that isn't Stephanie's reaches out to help her, to pull her up into a standing position, and Jo comes face to face with a boy she's never seen before, a handsome guy with dark skin and gorgeous eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asks her in a voice as smooth as silk. Jo can only nod and try to catch her breath.

Stephanie finally catches up, but comes to a screeching halt behind her when she sees the guy. Her jaw drops as she looks from one of them to the other. "Hi," She says to the guy, trying to play it cool and failing. "Thanks."

"No problem," He says, looking back to Jo without a second thought. She can feel the blush spreading across her cheeks. "I saw a damsel in distress, and so I came to help."

Behind her, Stephanie giggles. She wants to tell him she is definitely _not_ a damsel in distress, thank you very much, but he's just so good looking. So she stays silent, giving him her best flirty smile.

"This is Jo," Stephanie interjects, since Jo is still finding it hard to talk. "And I'm Stephanie."

The guy smiles. "Hi," He says. "I'm Jason Myers."

* * *

_Dun, dun, dun! I know you all probably hate me now. _


	5. part five

_I know everyone is probably not happy Jason is in this, but I knew from the beginning that he was going to be included. Really, this story is an AU twist on what happened in canon, and I knew he had too big a presence to eliminate him. But I promise in the end everything will be fine. Here's the next chapter. _

_Guess what? I own Grey's now! Really! (No, not really. Just read the chapter.)_

* * *

**part five;**

The first time he sees Jo and Chest Peckwell together, he feels like he's been punched in the stomach.

The bell has rung, and he's looking for her so they can go back to the foster home. He finally spots her at the end of the hallway, by the water fountain, and a smile spreads across her face when she sees him. He smiles too and reaches his hand up to wave, but before he can, he realizes Jo isn't looking at him at all, but at another guy, who quickly walks over to her and begins to make out with her.

Alex stops dead in his tracks, his breathing momentarily stopping when he sees Jo embrace this guy he's never seen before. He kisses her super long and super hard, like he's trying to rip off her face with his mouth, and he sees her laugh, actually _laugh_, against his lips like it's no big deal.

She hadn't wanted to kiss him.

And yet here she was letting a random dude suck her face off.

Stephanie walks over at that moment, and Alex immediately grabs her arm, stopping her in her tracks. "Whose that guy?" He asks her, while the girl stares at him confusedly.

"Oh," She says, smiling now as she looks at Jo and the guy. "That's Chest Peckwell." Now, it's Alex's turn to look confused, so Stephanie sighs and explains. "His real name is Jason Myers, but we call him Chest Peckwell because he's yummy and has nice abs. Jo finally asked him out." She smiles at the couple again, before turning on her heel and walking away.

Alex looks back at them, as Jason Myers tries to grope Jo and she pushes him off.

He could've been her Chest Peckwell.

* * *

She hadn't known in all her time living with the Webber's that Lexie had a sister, let alone that her sister was Meredith Grey.

"You didn't know?" Stephanie says to her when she finds out. Her friend lowers her voice and whispers the story to her across the table. According to Stephanie, Lexie and Meredith had the same father. He was an alcoholic. Both of their mothers were dead. They never knew about each other until they both came here.

Jo had never seen Meredith Grey act around anyone likes she does around Lexie. She's actually..._sisterly_, in a hesitant sort of way. She guesses that's what happens when you find out your deadbeat dad has another daughter.

She casually mentions her newfound revelation to Lexie. "She acts awfully nice to you," She finishes, sitting down on her bed and crossing off another date.

"Well, you know." Lexie says with a shrug. "Not everything is black and white. People have shades of grey."

She wonders if she's trying to be ironic - Grey and grey. She looks up to ask her, only to find Lexie's face buried in her book.

She shrugs. She'll ask her later.

* * *

She doesn't tell him about Chest Peckwell.

He waits for over and week for her to tell him. Let's her introduce them, plays dumb. Listen to her laugh at his jokes, watches her stare at Jason likes she used to stare at him. Watches her kiss him, his hand trailing up her thigh, when they think he can't see.

He's not stupid, but she apparently thinks he is. Or she just doesn't care enough to tell him.

"Hey," Cristina says, as she and Meredith sit down next to him in the cafeteria, where he has a perfect view of Chest Peckwell feeding Jo a grape. "Who's that guy with Hairball?"

"Fuck you," He snaps at her, and for once, Cristina Yang has nothing to say.

* * *

Alex is ignoring her.

At first she assumes he's just got something on his mind and that's why they don't spend time together anymore. But then Stephanie remarks she saw Alex when she was hanging out with Jackson and asks Jo what happened between them. She lies and says nothing has changed when on the inside she's wondering what she did wrong.

She always does something wrong.

She decides to confront him. She doesn't really plan it out ahead of time, so when she finally finds him, by her garden hose and smoking a cigarette he must've borrowed from Meredith because he doesn't smoke, his brown eyes just watch her silently for a couple minutes while she, fuming, tries to think of what to say.

"You can't treat me like this." She finally snaps, her whole body shaking. She doesn't know if it's from fear or rage. "I've been nothing but a good friend to you, I've put up with your horrible personality, I bought you a fucking couch, and all of a sudden you drop me out of the blue? What the Hell, Alex?"

He takes a puff, twirls the cigarette between his fingers. "Did you know Mer's dad was an alcoholic?"

She stares at him, wondering why he's telling her this. "Yes."

"Or that Cristina's father died in a car accident in front of her?" He continues. "She actually stuck her hands inside his chest to try and keep him alive. But it didn't work. Did you know that?" She blinks, only able to stare. "Or that Jackson's parents left him alone all the time to go to parties and charity events, so one day, when he was six, when he tripped and fell down the stairs, no one found him for hours? He almost died." Jo can only blink at him in response. "My dad was a junkie, my mom was crazy. I've been through enough shit, Jo. We all have. I don't have to take yours."

Her hands ball into fists. This time she knows for sure it's because she's pissed. "What the Hell are you talking about? I've never tried to involve you in my past!"

"That's not what I mean!" He yells at her. "You're ditching me for _Chest Peckwell_! And you don't even have the decency to tell me you're ditching me!"

"You're not my boyfriend!" She yells back. "Who I date is none of your business!"

"Of course I'm not your boyfriend!" He counters. "Because you're too fucking good for me!"

"When have I ever acted like I was better than you?" She screams. He looks down, breathing heavily, says nothing. She shakes her head. "Fuck you." She practically growls, turning on her heel and walking away.

She can practically hear Lexie's voice in her head. She doesn't think anyone has more shades of grey than Alex Karev.

* * *

He sees Chest Peckwell behind the bleachers, with his head between another girl's thighs.

"Hey," He calls out before he realizes he's doing it. "Chest Peckwell!"

Jason looks up and the girl gasps, closing her legs and straightening her too short skirt. Before he might've found this girl attractive. Now she's nothing compared to Jo.

Jason glares at him, says something to the girl and then walks over. "What is it Karev?" He snaps. "Going to go crying to Jo, tell her what you saw? Because she won't believe you. Why would she?"

God, he really hates this guy. "You're damn lucky to have her, you know that right?" He practically spits at him. "Jo is...beautiful, strong. She's the strongest person I know. That woman is amazing and you don't deserve her, but she's with you anyway for some reason I don't know. Jo is a million times better than you, Hell a million times better than me. She has persevered, through the foster homes and the abandonment - "

"Wait," Jason cuts him off, looking surprised. "Jo is a foster child?"

Alex laughs, and scoffs. "Yeah, you're a damn good boyfriend." He says sarcastically, before storming off, leaving Chest Peckwell behind.

(Secretly, he takes pride in the fact that he knows things about Jo she would never tell Jason Myers.)

* * *

"What did you say to Jason?"

He looks up as she barges into his room uninvited, looking pissed like she's on the warpath. "Come on in," He says sarcastically. She turns to glare at him, but her expression falters a little when she notices he's sitting on the couch.

"Did you say something to Jason?" She asks, trying to regain her composure.

"I just told him the truth about you," Alex says. "If he can't handle it then that's his problem,"

"What do you mean, 'the truth about me'?" Jo screams at him. "What, that I'm some cold, heartless bitch who rejected you?"

"No!" He yells back. "That you're smart, and strong, and maybe he should learn to acknowledge that! You deserve better than him too!"

Her blood momentarily runs cold. _Because you're too fucking good for me! _He'd said, and then she'd thought it was an insult. Now, she knows he didn't mean she thought she was better than everyone else. He meant _he_ did.

She walks out of the room before she does something stupid like cry.

* * *

She doesn't know it then, but she's stuck on a collision course. And she's about to hit.


	6. part six

_Hope everyone who celebrated it had a very merry Christmas! Here's the next chapter. Some big stuff happens, and it's setting up for the next (and sadly final) installment. Enjoy!_

* * *

**part six;**

When she goes to her room that night, Lexie is sitting on her bed, reading a book she must know by heart by now because it's coming apart at the spine. She's also wearing a dress. The pale color kind of washes her out a little bit, but most girls in the foster system could only dream of having a nice dress like that. At first, she wonders why she's wearing it, and then she remembers - tonight's New Year's Eve. She'd completely forgotten.

Jo plops down her bed, and for a minute she tries to focus on crossing another day off on her calendar, but eventually she finds herself looking up at her roommate. "Does it get boring?" She asks suddenly, and Lexie looks up at her, surprised that Jo was actually initiating a conversation. "You know," Jo explains. "Reading the same book, over and over."

The other girl shrugs, looking back down at the words on the page. "I guess I like knowing how things are going to end up."

Jo nods and looks down. Lexie's life so far has been the definition of unpredictable - dead mom, alcoholic dad, long lost half-sister. And Jo could understand from her own life experiences that it would be nice for once to actually know how the story will end.

They're interrupted by a knock at the door. "Ladies," Mark Sloan says smoothly, smiling as he turns to Lexie. "Ready to go, Little Grey?"

Lexie smiles and nods. "Yeah," She says, closing her book and getting off the bed. Mark extends his hand to her and she takes it.

"I had no idea the two of you were a couple," Jo blurts out. She had only meant to think it, but somehow the words slip from her lips.

Lexie begins to say something, but Mark Sloan speaks before she does. "Well," He says, smiling. "Lex just gets me." Lexie laughs lightly and looks at him. The expression on her face can only be described in one word: love.

Lexie turns and smiles at her. "Have a good night, Jo." She says.

Jo smiles faintly back. "You too, Lexie." She watches the couple leave together, holding hands and fingers interlaced. And for the briefest moment, she imagines that that's them.

She looks down for just a second - just a second - and when she looks up he's standing in her doorway. "Jason," She says, but he doesn't reply, he just looks at her, with a cold, blank stare. She rises, and walks over to him. "Hey, how did you find me here? Did Richard let you in?" He blinks in response. "Here, come inside and -" She reaches up to touch his shoulder and guide him in, but then suddenly he moves, reaches out for her arm.

She stops, and her gaze flicks to where he's grabbed her, and then back up to his unchanged expression. "Don't touch me," She tells him in a low, warning tone.

"I'll grab you if I want," Jason snaps back. His nails dig into the sensitive skin of her wrist as he twists her arm, and she bites down on her lip to prevent herself from crying out in pain and surprise. "You're a lying, _stupid_ little bitch!"

"Shut up!" She says back, trying to break free from his grip. "You're hurting me, stop!" No matter how much she moves her wrist, she can't get loose.

Jason simply grabs her tighter, and then he's slamming her against the wall. The wind is knocked out of her, and suddenly, she's overwhelmed by deja vu.

* * *

_She sobs as he slams her up against the wall. Her whole body starts to throb from the force. "Please," She cries out, her tears blurring her vision. "Please sto-"_

_He clamps a sweaty palm over her mouth, silencing her pleas. She feels like it's suddenly harder to breathe with his mouth covering her airway. Though, she can't stop crying, not as she listens to him undo his belt, feels his hands tug on her jeans, hears him grunt as he enters her from behind. _

_He does her hard, fast and painfully. She sobs and gasps for air the whole time, and he keeps barking at her to shut up in between his moans of pleasure. She shuts her eyes and begs it all to go away, please, please let this be some horrible dream, but it's real, and terrible, and extremely frightening. _

_He lets out a sigh of relief when he finally finishes, and drops her. She stumbles, feeling like she can't move. She feels something hot and liquid trickling down her thighs, and she doesn't have to look down to know it's blood. She collapses into a ball on the floor, half-naked, bleeding, weeping. _

_"Tell anyone about this," He whispers to her gravely as he pulls up his zipper, tucks in his shirt. "And I swear to God, I'll kill you." She can't find any words to reply, sobs all she can emit. Tom Young casts one final look at her as he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him._

_She doesn't know how long she stays there on the ground, too scared and sore to move. When she can finally feel her legs again and she's assured herself he isn't coming back, she picks herself up off the floor, slowly. She wipes the blood off from in between her legs, unable to look as she does so because God, there's so much of it. Even after the blood is gone, she stills feels dirty, but she pulls her pants back on anyway, taking an extra long time to do the button and pull up the zipper. She wipes away the tears still in her eyes, and blinks away the rest. _

_That night, she makes a promise to herself. From then on, she'll protect herself. She won't let anyone treat her like that again. No one will hurt her. She won't let them._

* * *

He's hitting her. Over and over again, he's hitting her. She's seeing stars in her one eye, and she's pretty sure her lip is busted because she can taste blood, feel it dripping down her chin. His fist is raised to punch her again, but she reaches out, and grabs his hand. "No," She says firmly. She's surprised by the steadiness in her tone. "No more."

He grabs her arms, anger in his eyes. He's about to say something else, but she doesn't let him. Slowly she lifts up her foot, and knees him between the legs.

Jason staggers backwards, screaming in pain and grabbing the area of his crotch where she kicked him. "You bitch!" He gasps. "Oh my God, you stupid bitch!"

"Stay away from me, Jason." She simply orders him. "I swear to God, I mean it." She tries to walk out the door, but then he reaches back up and grabs her again. She turns around quickly and shoves him down. He falls, lands on his back, and his head hits the ground with a loud thud.

He's still calling out profanities at her as she storms out, his voice getting softer and softer. It feels like she runs for an eternity, through the hallway, down the stairs. She runs past all of her foster siblings, as they sneak off to the New Year's Eve party. She runs past Mark and Lexie, Meredith and Derek Shepherd, Cristina and Owen Hunt, past them before any of them can say 'Are you okay?' She runs until her legs are burning, until she has to catch her breath, until she's reached the only place she can think to go.

When she's finally standing outside his door, she's panting heavily as she knocks. He opens it, and at first he looks annoyed, but then his expression transforms into one of shock when he sees the bruises on her face. "Alex," She says. "I need your help."


	7. part seven

_Yes, this is the final chapter of MYMSG. I'm so sad it's over. Thank you all for being amazing readers, and hopefully I'll have another Jolex story up soon! Until then, this is all she wrote, folks!_

* * *

**part seven; **

She hadn't had to think twice before coming here. She trusts Alex, more than anyone else. And – although she hadn't realized it – she thinks she's always trusted him, always known he was different than all the rest. Everything had always gone back to him. (After all, when she watched Lexie leave with Mark, it hadn't been Jason she'd pictured doing the same with her.) He was hers, and that's how she finds herself outside his door, staring into his worried eyes and unable to find the proper words to tell him everything she's feeling. So, she just cries, cries and lets go.

She cries as he lays her down in his bed, cries as he gives her something cold to put on her face, cries as he wraps her in the same hoodie he was wearing the day they met. It's like now that she's started she can't stop. "You're safe now," He whispers to her in a hushed, comforting tone. She continues to cry and nods. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

"He...he came to my room," She explains. "Jason." He looks at her and nods, listening. "He was so mad, he said that I was a lying bitch. He grabbed me, and then he started hitting me, punching me in the face." His fists clench and unclench when she says this. He's thinking about his dad, who he found pummeling his mom in the kitchen when he was a kid. He's thinking about what a sick bastard Jason is for hurting Jo. "I fended him off but..." She finishes, tears streaming down her cheeks. "God, it just got so bad..."

He pulls the blankets up around her, like he did so many years ago with his little sister the first night his dad hit his mom. "It's okay now, Jo." He says, and her cries die down. "You stay right here and get some sleep. I'll be right back."

She sits up in bed, her crying suddenly ceased, when she sees he's leaving. "Where are you going?" She asks, but he ignores her, heads towards the door. "Alex?" She says, but he's opening the door, still ignoring her. "Alex, what are you going to do?" She calls after him, but he closes the door, and her question goes unanswered.

* * *

As soon as he gets to Jo's hallway, it is chaos. There are people everywhere, talking loudly. He shoves his way through the mass of bodies, looking for a familiar face. He spots a splash of pink hair and approaches. "What the Hell happened?" He asks Meredith and Cristina. They're wearing dresses, which he usually never sees them in, and next to them are their dates, Derek and Owen, as well as Mark and a terrified Lexie.

The girls turn to him, serious looks on their faces. "Someone's been attacked," Meredith says gravely. "And Jo's the prime suspect."

* * *

_They stand there, staring up at the big building before them. The sign declaring the store's name is lit up red, and there's these huge, glass windows, so he can see everything inside. Stacks of fresh produce, neatly arranged cartons of juice and milk, display cases full of nicely decorated cakes. _

_Aaron squeezes his hand. "I'm hungry," The young boy says and Amber nods in agreement. _

_Alex sighs, looks from his brother to his sister to the huge grocery store in front of them. They don't have any money. "Stay here," He instructs Aaron and Amber, sitting them down on the curb outside the front doors. "Don't go in the street," His siblings nod weakly and then he turns and walks inside. _

_He picks a random aisle and walks down it, like he belongs there. There's a woman wrestling to keep her toddler in the cart, so he stops and pretends to be examining the types of bread, like he actually cares about what kind it is. The mother smiles politely at him as she walks by, and he forces himself to repeat the action. He watches her go, and then when she's gone he reaches out and grabs a loaf of bread. He looks both ways, making sure no one is coming, and then stuffs it under his sweatshirt. He wraps his arms tightly around his body, to both hide his steal and as if to confirm to himself it's really there. He does the same thing with some juice boxes, and a few granola bars, and a container of those mini-powdered sugar donuts because they're Amber's and his favorite. _

_He wraps his load up in his sweatshirt, holds it in place with his arms. He nods at the man behind the store counter on his way out, murmurs 'have a nice day'. He's doing it, and he actually thinks he might get away with it. He can see Aaron and Amber now, watching him with wide eyes as he comes through the door. He grins at them. And then suddenly, it's loud, crippingly loud, as the alarms sound off around him. Everyone stares, and he's dead in his tracks when he feels someone grab him, the bread and the juice and the granola bars and the mini-donuts falling to the floor as his arms are yanked back. "Hey you!" The store manager shouts. "Freeze!"_

* * *

"You're crazy!" Meredith shouts at him. They're in her room now, just the three of them, Cristina sitting on the bed, Meredith pacing back and forth, him standing near the door so he can make a quick exit if needed.

"I'm not lying," He says, trying to keep a neutral expression. "I did it."

"That's bullshit!" Meredith replies, still screaming at him. "I know you feel like you need to save everyone Alex! But _this_? This is fucking insane!" Her anger and frustration are evident. She reaches into her coat for her cigarettes, and pulls one out of the pack. She fumbles with her lighter and it takes it a second to ignite, causing her to murmur a "dammit" under her breath. Once she finally gets a spark she shoves the lighter back into her pocket, taking a puff and a deep breath.

"Are you really going to take the fall for this girl, Alex?" Cristina asks him, much calmer than her best friend. "You're about to turn eighteen, you'll be getting out of here soon. Are you really going to mess up your future for this hairball?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Alex says. "I beat up Jason, not Jo."

Cristina sighs and rolls her eyes. "Okay, so you're sticking with this then, aren't you? Well, you're going to at least need a good story to tell the cops."

"I'll just admit to it," He replies. "I have a record, they'll believe me."

Meredith and Cristina both open their mouths to object, but before they can she walks in. "Wait," He hears Jo's voice say behind him. She pulls down the hood of his sweatshirt, exposing her now black eye and busted lip, causing Meredith and Cristina to emit audible gasps. "I attacked Jason." She tells them. "It was me, I did it."

"Holy shit," Cristina says to herself. "What happened to you?"

Alex ignores her as he turns to Jo. "I told you to stay in my room," He whispers to her.

"I'm not letting you do this," She says, shaking her head fervently. "I won't, I won't let you ruin your life for me."

"Cristina, I - " Stephanie steps into the room, and freezes when she sees Jo. "Oh my God, what happened to your face?" She gasps.

Surprisingly, Cristina intervenes. "You never saw her," She tells Stephanie, who nods, looking fearful. "Now, what were you saying?" She leads Stephanie out of the room, and they walk off into the opposite direction of the crowd, who are milling about for news on the guy who was attacked.

"You need to go," Alex tells Jo. "Now." She sighs, and lets him pull the hood back up, shrouding her face. She reluctantly exits the room, and heads for the stairs, which she takes two at a time. She needs a plan. She can't let Alex take the fall. She'll go to the police, she'll tell them...

"Wilson!" It's Meredith, not Alex, who runs to catch up to her, her pink hair and black dress both bouncing. "I just wanted to say..." She begins, sounding almost nervous. "That I like you, but I love Alex. He may be a jerk sometimes but...he's been a really good friend to me, he understands what I've been through and...And I don't know if he's loyal enough, or stupid enough to take the fall for you, but he just might be."

"I'm not going to let him," She replies, shaking her head. "I got myself into this mess and I'm going to get myself out. I won't let him ruin his life for me, I promise you that Meredith."

Meredith nods, and Jo starts to descend the stairs again. "And Jo?" The girl turns back around, and Meredith pauses before saying: "I meant it when I said that I like you."

Jo can't help it – she smiles. "You know what?" She says. "I like you too."

* * *

She doesn't go back to his room. The rational part of her brain knows she should, but the rest of her knows that this is the only place that feels right. She sits down on top of the garden hose, pulls her knees to her chest and wraps his sweatshirt tighter around her body, bracing herself for the cold. She can hear the sound of a car pulling into the Webber's driveway, the crunch of boots on gravel. And then - just like on the day they met - his voice startles her, and causes her to cry out. "Hey,"

This time, Alex does not tease her about her reaction. "What the Hell were you thinking?" He says. "Peckwell could've died."

The color immediately drains from Jo's face. "Is he...?" She asks, terrified of what his answer might be.

"No," He replies, shaking his head. "But he was unconscious for a little while. The ambulances came for him. You know you could've gone to jail right? You were an idiot back there, you need to grow up."

This triggers something in her – pain or anger or hurt - because she has grown up. It's been her only option due to the circumstances in which she's been raised. "No!" She yells at him, furious. "_You_ grow up! Not everyone is like you, Alex! Not everyone's good! The last time someone grabbed me like Jason did..." She trails off, and shakes her head. "I swore," She says. "No one was ever going to do that to me again."

He looks down at the ground. "I'm sorry," He says. "Honestly, if you hadn't gotten there first I probably would've killed the guy."

She gives him a look. "Why?" She asks. "Why would you do that for me?"

"Why wouldn't I?" There's a pause, neither of them knowing what to say. He opens his mouth to say the words on his mind - _I'm in love with you, Jo_ - but before he can, it's suddenly bright, blindingly bright, as the flood lights are pointed at them. Her hand reaches up to shield her face, and he can only stare in horror. "Hey you!" The police officer barks at them. "Freeze!"

* * *

_There are tears running down her cheeks as she tells the police officer the story. His partner is lowering Tom Young into the squad car, reading him his rights as he shoves the handcuffed older man inside. His eyes turn to her, looking blank, causing her to be unable to speak. The other children stand by, watching the action unfold. Sarah, Tom's wife, silently clamps a hand on Jo's shoulder. "Go on, child." She says, the sound of oncoming tears in her voice. _

_She tells them the whole story. Every last detail. She tells them about the first meeting with Tom, how he gave her candy. She tells them how Mr. Young befriended her slowly over time, made her feel safe, until one day he cornered her, shoved her into a dark room and..._

_Sarah Young cuts in. "You don't have to say anymore," She says. _

_"Ma'am," The policeman, whose name tag reads Officer Peters, interjects. "I need to hear what happened from her, if we're going to press charges."_

_Everyone looks at her, waiting for her to say the words. They taste foreign on her tongue, like something harsh and bitter that has been shoved down her throat. Officer Peters nods, writes it down. He thanks Mrs. Young and then climbs into the police car. His partner gets in shotgun, and as they drive away, Tom Young looks straight ahead, his expression neutral. Sarah Young hugs her, burrows her face into the younger girl's hair and weeps. _

_When it's over, she feels exposed, ashamed, having confessed her ordeal to a complete stranger, with everyone watching. _

_But she also feels, at long last, relief._

* * *

He sits down on the curb, watching her as she gives the story to the cops - the full story, they'd agreed. He watches the story pour from her lips, every excruciating detail - Jason attacking her, her fighting back, him yelling after her as she runs to his room, him coming back and finding Jason like this. As she finishes, the officer nods, saying what looks like 'thank you' as he touches Jo's shoulder and then walks over to Richard and Bailey. The three of them converse, before the officer climbs back into his car and pulls away. Jo stares at the taillights as they disappear, Bailey yells at the audience they have attracted to go back inside, he keeps staring at her.

She slowly shuffles over and sinks down onto the spot next to him. She looks down at the ground. "I was raped by my foster father," She confesses at the same time he says: "I went to juvie because I had to steal my brother and sister food." They both look at each other, and then they turn away again. They don't comment on each other's words, they just take them in. Now, he knows her darkest secret, and he's let her chip away the last piece of his walls. In this moment, they have both become completely vulnerable. They are both seeing each other for what they truly are. And that's something neither of them have ever done before.

There's a pause, the sound of voices and sirens in the distance all they can hear. "I'll mess it up," She says. "If we get together. We work great as friends but..." _I mess everything good in my life up._ She thinks.

"You won't mess anything up," He interjects. Again, their gazes turn to each other. She blinks at him, while he stares at her, thoughtful. "You wanted me to say the words." He continues. "So I'm...saying them."

He shuts his eyes and his lips move, but no sound comes out. The only noise is coming from inside the house, where everyone is beginning to count down, one minute until the New Year. "I don't hear anything," She says.

"Shut up," He says, and she opens her mouth to add, but he cuts her off. "I'm serious." It's at that exact moment that the clock strikes twelve, and all of the other foster kids are cheering, screaming "Happy New Year!". She doesn't notice, feeling like she can't breathe, because he says it - "I love you." She doesn't realize until their lips are crushing together that she's said it back - "I love you too."

It is easily the best kiss she's ever had. He wraps his arms around her, and she's crushed against his body, suddenly overcome with safety and his warmth. He smells like coffee, and shaving cream, and just _Alex_. She reaches up to his neck, her hands holding onto him for dear life. When it's over, she's sad at first, but then she feels okay again, because she'll be able to experience this again and again for a long time to come. That's something she knows for sure.

She smiles at him for a long moment. "You saved me, Alex." She whispers, in awe, and she doesn't just mean with Jason. She means with..._everything_.

He smiles too, because he _knows_, he understands, and shakes his head. "No," He corrects gently, his thumb brushing gently against her cheek, brown eyes meeting brown eyes. "We saved each other."

They'd both come from dark places, they both had their deepest secrets and all their hurt. But somehow, along the way, none of that had mattered anymore. Because they were here now, and they were being honest with each other, and they'd both finally found somehow who would never leave them. Somehow, they had found the person who brought out the best of them, who made their pasts and their inner demons irrelevant. And it didn't take a genius to tell that the saving grace of Jo Wilson was Alex Karev, and the saving grace of Alex Karev was Jo Wilson.

**fin.**


End file.
